


It's Not Hard to See

by RaphaelSantiago (softsocky)



Category: Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare, Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: But also, M/M, True Love, and arguments, and lots of other gross shit that is SO NASTY but so CUTE because i love raphael FUCKING BYE, raphael saves the day but maybe a little bit too much, there is angst, warnings: there is mild sexual assault but still be warned about that!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-17
Updated: 2016-04-17
Packaged: 2018-06-02 19:17:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,126
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6579112
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/softsocky/pseuds/RaphaelSantiago
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“The boy is mine,” Raphael said. Simon’s eyes narrowed, wondering if Raphael had intentionally quoted Brandy and Monica’s 1998 hit single.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's Not Hard to See

**Author's Note:**

> Title from brandy and monica's song, the boy is mine. Hope you enjoy :) xoxo

**It’s Not Hard to See**  
**_“The boy is mine,” Raphael said. Simon’s eyes narrowed, wondering if Raphael had intentionally quoted Brandy and Monica’s 1998 hit single._**

 Simon had become accustomed to the fact that Raphael was possessive of his things: his jackets, for one; most definitely his motorbike; and, for some reason, he was especially protective of Simon himself. His fledging. 

Simon had first noticed it when Raphael always pestered him about his blood intake, and when Simon would respond “none whatsoever”, he would speak hurriedly in Spanish – something Simon should know, but stupidly doesn’t – and scramble to the kitchen, returning in record time with a glass brimming with blood. Simon would say thank you, but would look at the deep red liquid with distaste. Raphael would stay with him until he drank the entire glass, and asked if he wanted anymore. Simon would always respond “no” but Raphael would fill his glass again, anyway. 

Another thing he noticed was how Raphael would always do stupid shit when hunting and trying to protect himself and his clan from people trying to kill them _back_. Like, Raphael would jump in front of Simon (who honestly was doing _just fine_ at the whole staying out of trouble thing) and do something reckless, like get his spine nearly ripped out from the top of his almost decapitated head. Raphael would always say he was never careful enough, always doing something to get himself in danger. Simon thought Raphael needed revaluate his opinion of himself before he questioned his fledging’s actions.

There was another thing Simon had noticed – and that involved a huge change of the other vampire’s opinion of him. When he first arrived, and the rest of the clan had realised he would be a permanent member of their family now, they were so _chill_ and open with him – welcoming him as though he had been there all along. But then, all of a sudden, they wouldn’t so much as glance at him, let alone speak to him. Simon was terrified he had done something so disrespectful they didn’t want any association with him whatsoever, but when he questioned Raphael about, he just went silent and stuttered before demanding he leave and stop pestering him with stupid, petty questions. Simon knew that if Raphael had been human at that moment, he would be blushing.

So Simon went and saw Lily – the only other vampire Simon knew would acknowledge his immortal existence. She was in the library, a few other clan members with her. He waved at her when she glanced his way, and he saw the way the other’s packed away their things and hurriedly left. She didn’t tense her body the way the others would have when he sat near her, in fact, her body language told him she was fine with his presence. She studied him though, quite thoroughly, and perceptively no doubt. She started by looking so deep into his eyes that he was certain she could see the individual cells coding for the brown depths of them. Then she looked at his hands, and how his fingers were curled together, shaking slightly. He was nervous, and her examination of him was not making it any better, to be quite honest.

Simon cleared his throat – a habit he had yet to grow out of – and Lily smiled affectionately. Simon didn’t consider Lily a friend, kind of how you don’t consider a sibling a friend, but they are anyway.

Before he could speak, though, she interrupted. “You’re going to ask me about the others, aren’t you?” Simon didn’t need to respond, she was that perceptive she could probably see the way his shoulders stiffened at her words, and how his eyes were glassy, more so than usual, his palms sweaty against his jeans. 

He heard her sigh, straightening out her skirt, brushing off invisible dirt particulates. “Know this: it is not their doing.”

Simon was both relieved and aggravated. “Who’s doing is it then?” It was a stupid question, to be truthful, because of course he knew who was responsible for it. There was only one person who could be bothered destroyed what little happiness Simon actually had.

He got up to leave, but Lily said – “It is not my place to say the basis of the command, Simon, but know that it truly is for the best.” She exhaled, and it was shaky. This stunned Simon, because Lily was usually so sure, so confident with her actions and words. “It will not last, I promise you, fledging. It is just…” she stopped herself from saying what she had planned, looking at Simon with a pained expression. 

He knew that was all he would get out of her, so he took the liberty of leaving, saving himself an awkward silence. “Thanks Lily,” he said, before slipping back to the lonesomeness of his bedroom.

 

The first thing he did the next day was go to Raphael’s room, knocking politely, but trying to sound demanding at the same time. Raphael opened the door expectantly, “not like you to knock, Lewis.” Simon rolled his eyes, pushing past Raphael’s arm and into his bedroom. He had been in here before, of course, so the layout didn’t shock him and the artwork on the walls were not as interesting as they had been the first time he’d seen them.

“Can I help you with something?” Raphael demanded, sarcasm lingering on the tip of his tongue.

Simon turned to face him, face contorted into the best expression of anger he could muster. “Yeah, actually, you can.”

 Raphael grinned, narrowing his eyes. “Well, Simon Lewis, needing help, what a surprise.” He sunk down into the expensive looking leather arm chair by the bathroom door. “What is this time? Girl troubles? No socks?” Simon bitterly bit his tongue, “please, do enlighten me, Lewis.”

Inhaling ruggedly, Simon shut his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose before opening them again. “Raphael, I know you don’t particularly like me – that’s cool, I get it, I’m a pain in your expensive as shit ass, that’s also cool, whatever. But you don’t have to be such a _dick_ about it. I mean, yeah okay, I suck at being a vampire – I can’t drink blood properly and I’m too scared to attack you in training – but you did not have to take away the one thing that made me stay here, the one bloody thing that was keeping me sane amongst all this madness!”

 Raphael sat up straight, “what are you talking about?”

 “No!” Simon yelled, “you don’t get to act like you don’t know shit about what I’m talking about!”

 Raphael stood now, a furrow in his brow, confusion set deep in his invisible pores. “I don’t know what you’re getting at Simon, but spit it out, right now.”

 Simon shook his head in disbelief. “You may earn respect from people around you because you’re the leader of your clan. You may make people fall to their knees in order to worship you. But me? I am really struggling to adjust to this life. And for you to make that one step harder for me _by making everyone hate me_ , is something I will never forgive you for – nor will I actually understand it.” Simon realised there were tears on his face, and he hoped Raphael felt like crap because of it. Knowing him, he probably didn’t – Simon sometimes wonders if Raphael knew what tears were.

 Simon turned to leave, and as he was halfway out the door, he turned back to his speechless sire. “One more thing.” Raphael looked at him, face blank. “You made me swear my loyalty to you, to this whole clan. I think that was the worst mistake of my life, even worse than thinking I could trust you.” Simon slammed the door with unnecessary force, pleased to see the way Raphael’s expression sunk to the floor before doing so.

 

 Maybe his words were a little excessive, _maybe_ , and _maybe_ he hadn’t actually given Raphael a chance to explain the situation, but he hated the fact that Raphael acted so superior to everyone even though he acted like such a _tool_ sometimes. The next time he had actually seen Raphael, it was when he had three unfamiliar vampires in tow with him. They were far too well-dressed to be fledging’s, and they looked more superior and douche-y than Raphael himself. Raphael, at least, dressed in clothes of the 21st century. These vampires, however, were dressed in whatever was worn when they were turned – the Victorian era, Simon suggested. Maybe even earlier.

 The three men eyed Simon thoughtfully, one of them smirking at him in particular, making him especially uncomfortable. He stood in the kitchen, glass of blood in his hand. Raphael met his eyes momentarily, and Simon thought he could register an expression of fondness there ( _what?_ ) before it disappeared back to nothingness.

 “This is my newest clan member, Simon.” Raphael’s voice was monotonous, until he said his name, where his voice softened into honey. “Simon, these are representatives from a clan based in London.” Raphael gestured to the three men, “this is Desmond, Gerard, and Harrison.” Simon hurried from the kitchen counter, over to them, where he shook their awaiting hands.

 When he shook Harrison’s hand, the older vampire’s grip was tighter than all the others, his smile slight and eyes violating. “It’s an absolute _pleasure_ to meet you Simon.”

 When Harrison finally released his hand, the first thing Simon did was take a few steps back, clearing distance between him and the other vampires. He then looked to Raphael, who was looking at Harrison’s hand that had just been in his own. Harrison was looking at Raphael knowingly, and Simon didn’t see it, and neither had Raphael, but Harrison had planned to make his stay one to remember – for both clans.

 

Raphael had never told Simon that he was an appealing looking fledging – mostly because he didn’t want Simon to get any more flustered around him, and also he didn’t want Simon knowing he thought he was attractive. Raphael, however, wished part of him had told him, because the way Harrison had looked at him just now terrified him. Despite being frustrated with his earlier actions, he was still his sire, his teacher, of sorts. Of course Raphael still cared about his general (and not-so-general) wellbeing, and would continue to protect him wherever he could. But, Raphael thought, this was not something easily managed when said Vampire had just raged at you for being _too protective already_.

 So when Raphael walked into the library later that evening and saw Harrison sitting a little too close to Simon for his liking, a hand resting on his shoulder, the other inching higher up his thigh – Raphael did not intrude, rather, he just turned around and walked the other way. And, that night, when the sun had risen and the vampires had seen themselves to their rooms, Raphael snuck silently into Simon’s bedroom. He scanned the boy’s body, searching for bruises and for any scaring that had yet to heal – when he found none, he headed back to his own bed, but he did not sleep. Fear consumed all little drowsiness he had left.

 

The next three days were filled with similar encounters; Raphael walking in on Harrison doing things _with_ and _to_ Simon, things that made a raging flame of jealousy to rekindle in his stomach, to sour up his chest and to the tip of his tongue, where his self-control training made him put said flames out. He was on the brink of insanity, his mental state pushed to the limits, and he was not sure how much longer he would be able to watch another man put his hands on his _baby._

 

They were all in the reading room, Raphael, Simon, Lily, and the visiting clan members. Once again, Harrison was pressed closed to Simon’s side, a hand trailing down his neck, over his shoulder. Raphael noted how Simon would unpleasantly squirm, twitching away from his touch, turning his back to the man as best as he could. Raphael knew Simon was uncomfortable with unfamiliar touching – he knew this because it had taken Raphael a long time to be able touch Simon. Raphael, however, had managed to make Simon so comfortable that he initiated touches, timid grabs of his upper arm, shoulder taps, hugs of gratitude – these things both of them had gotten used to, and now they had been separated from it, both craved it as though it were life and death.

 Lily sensed Raphael’s intensity and his jealously without even needing to look at him. After a while, however, she glanced towards him. She saw the pain in his eyes, the neglect that had began to rot out the shine that had once gleamed there. She sighed heavily, unnecessary, but with care and intention.

 “He loves you, you know.”

 Raphael shook his head, “he doesn’t…at least not anymore, Lily.”

 She huffed out a soft laugh, just for the two of them to acknowledge. “Raphael, you may be the best leader our clan has had in over three hundred years, but you’re also the most oblivious one when it comes to romance.”

 Turning to face her, he narrowed his eyes. “You know what he said to me, Lily. I told you, hell, I didn’t even need to tell you – you heard it yourself!” He turned away from her now, eyes welling up, disappointment flooding the deep brown. “I have tried to protect him, to look after him in the ways I thought were best…but everything I do is wrong, and nothing I do is good enough for him…I don’t know what to do anymore, Lil’s.”

She watched him thoughtfully, the way he would brush at his eyes surreptitiously with the sleeve of what appeared to be one of Simon’s baggy sweaters; how he would not-so-surreptitiously watch Harrison’s hand trail up Simon’s thigh, to the edge of his shirt, and underneath until—

Simon stood at the same moment as Raphael, their eyes automatically meeting. Both of their eyes shared similar expressions; fear and anger, jealously and anguish. Simon headed to his bedroom, while Raphael headed outside – no one in the room spoke, and as Harrison left to sit with the rest of his clan, Lily hissed at him.

 

 It was late that night when Raphael heard it – the _screaming_ muffled into _terrified whimpering._ It was Simon, Raphael knew straight away: he had heard those noises before, the nightmares that plagued Simon when he had first turned. But these did not seem as hazy as those screams had, nor had they seemed this forceful. Raphael knew as he pushed his blankets back, that these sounds coming from Simon were not from his dreamland.

 He hurried from his room, not bothering with a shirt, rushing down the hall to Simon’s room in only his sleeping shorts. He nearly collided with Lily, who was wearing her own sleeping attire, face clean and childish without the usual intensity of her makeup. The hotel was dark despite the sunlight that shone outside, and suddenly Raphael wished he could feel the sun again, to set him free of the misery he would see on the other side of these doors. But he had to live – he had to live to make sure Simon lived, too. Without Simon, Raphael didn’t really see the point, and without Simon, the world wouldn’t be same.

 Raphael and Lily barged through the door, the heavy golden weight of it falling off its hinges. Raphael wanted to throw up when he saw Simon, t-shirt ripped from his chest, bruises and blood around his neck when Harrison’s hand was. Simon was still whimpering, struggling against the older vampire’s much stronger grip. Harrison himself had been in the process of undoing his own belt of his jeans, and Simon, for the first time in a long time, managed to croak out the one thing he knew would always protect him – “ _Raphael!_ ”

 Suddenly, Raphael was in hunting mode – no longer did he have remorse for wayward vampires, stray individuals seeking a high, or the respect one should have for their vampiric elders. Right now, all Raphael was trained to do was to _kill those who hurt his own._ Lily, it seemed, thought the same way –she did not stop the way Raphael yanked Harrison from Simon’s shaking and exposed form, the way he repetitively punched him till his nose and jaw were broken, blood streaming down his face, unable to heal due to the repetitive abuse to his nerves and bones. She also didn’t stop him from opening the blinds to allow sunlight into the back corner of Simon’s room – in fact, she held Harrison down while he did so, before Raphael snapped his neck, and pushed him into the rays of sunlight. Simon, Raphael, and Lily watched him scream before his body turned to ash, drifting down to the wooden floors in grey snowflake-like shards.

 It was then, before Raphael could even face Simon, that the other two vampires strode into the room. Raphael nor Lily spoke, but when they saw Simon, bloody and slowly healing, and the ashes in the corner of the room, they knew their place. They stalked out of the room, and all three of them heard the packing of their bags upstairs.

 Raphael nodded to Lily, who left the room as Raphael stalked hesitantly over to Simon’s bed. Without speaking, he pulled the sheets back, inspecting Simon’s legs and thighs, thankful to see that Harrison had not torn through his briefs. He gingerly traced his fingers up Simon’s exposed chest, from the light dusting of hair below his bellybutton, up over his nipples and collarbones, to where the bruises rose and blood had begun to dry. Raphael’s voice caught in his throat as he turned Simon’s head, expecting to see a bite mark just below his ear, in the most sensitive part of the vampire’s body. As he did so, Simon caught his wrist, stopping him.

 “He didn’t bite me there, Raph.” Raphael refused to meet his eyes, although he could feel them burning into his skin. Simon’s fingers trailed up forearm, and instead, Raphael watched them as Simon spoke again. “He didn’t bite me, he just cut me, thinking it would be fun to  
‘cut up the masters baby.’” He hesitated, and now Raphael looked at him, eyes locking together and seeing Simon adoration and Raphael’s relief. “I was scared Raphael, but I knew you would come.”

 Raphael’s head fell to Simon’s chest, a hand wrapping behind his neck so he could delicately kiss his collarbones and the hollow of his neck. Simon’s hand went to Raphael’s hair, tugging gently, pulling his face closer to his.

 “Why did you stop them talking to me, Raph?”

 Raphael had been dreading this, admitting to his failures, his plans. But, he loved Simon, and he loved this moment, so he chose to be honest. “I told them to stop speaking to you because I knew that these vampires would be dramatic, they would be obsessive and would cling to anyone. I wanted you to appear unappealing, because Simon…God, Simon, you’re so bloody appealing.” Simon gulped, eyes darkening. “Simon your _scent_ , its so intoxicating, like vanilla and coconut and yet its so musky, too, so alive and beautiful and _heavy._ Simon you radiate purity, you’re so fresh and new, and that is so _sexy_ to me and to every other vampire around here and beyond.” Simon was thankful he couldn’t blush anymore, and his hand tightened in Raphael’s hair, once again drawing them closer together. Their noses were brushing together now, eyes flicking down to each other’s lips, lips that were millimetres apart now.

 Raphael continued with his torture. “I think about you a lot Simon, I picture you in my bed, as mine, claimed for the rest of eternity. I imagine you on my arm at every gala and event and ball we’re invited to, and I imagine us together for the rest of eternity, a somewhat ‘power couple’ as you have called it before.” Simon chuckled through his now-falling tears, “Simon I am so in love with you I don’t know how I am able to walk around you, how I am able to function, how I am even able to speak these words to you now because you make me drown in them every day over and over again.” He pressed their foreheads together, staring down and deeply into his eyes. “Simon, I love you so much, and I am so sorry for all the pain I have caused you, all the pain that that filth caused you, that filth I allowed to touch you and I allowed to stay in _our home_.” Raphael was crying now, too, and Simon wished he could kiss them away but he was terrified. “Simon, please, _please,_ will you forgive me?”

 Simon was not stupid, nor was he clueless, because he saw the genuine regret in Raphael’s eyes, but he also saw his love – and Simon loved Raphael, too, of course he did, how couldn’t he?

 And Simon had never been good with words, anyway, so instead he leant up and kissed him, open mouthed, deep and heavy and _desperate for more_. The way Raphael’s hands gripped his hips, the way he later whimpered underneath Simon’s body, legs around the younger’s waist, begging Simon for _more_ and for _deeper_ , Simon knew that forgiving Raphael was the best decision he had ever made – even better than swearing his loyalty to the clan and to trusting Raphael, things he had later apologised for after they had come down from their highs. Raphael had just timidly kissed him again, effectively shutting him up.

 

That night, when the sun had finished setting, Raphael and Simon stood shirtless at the front door of the hotel as the two remaining London Vampires prepared their early departure. They had yet to speak, but when they did, they said “Mr Santiago, I do hope you realise that you have created somewhat of a war between us – something you really should not have started over, what? This fledging?” He laughed at Simon’s appearance beside Raphael, “really, Raphael, you truly do have low standards – Harrison as well, apparently.”

Simon growled, but stopped when Raphael squeezed his waist softly. Raphael stepped forward, right into the faces of the two elders. “The boy is mine,” Raphael said. Simon’s eyes narrowed, wondering if Raphael had intentionally quoted Brandy and Monica’s 1998 hit single. “The boy is mine, and had never been Harrison’s, and thankfully now, he never will be. Bring your war to New York, bring your entire clan and we shall gladly meet you on the battle field. We do not tolerate sexual assault – or any form of abuse for that matter – in our hotel. I should hope to never see you again, but if we should, I do hope you have a clan much stronger that Harrison.”

Raphael opened the hotel door, demanding they leave – which they did so quietly. When they had gone, Raphael dragged Simon the one of the golden chairs there. But Simon sat down first, dragging Raphael atop of his lap, so that Raphael straddled his hips. Raphael playfully rolled his hips down against Simon, who groaned in return, pushing his hips upwards to the brief touch.

Simon dragged Raphael down for a passionate kiss, not caring what vampires walked into the reception room and saw them. He pulled away, turned his neck to the side, exposing the tender flesh there to his better half. Raphael gasped at the sight of his offering, “Simon, are you sure?” Simon nodded hurriedly, whimpering as he rolled his hips up again. This whimper was different from his earlier ones – this time, they were from desperation and from pleasure.

“Please Raphael,” he begged.

“Simon, do you know what this will mean for you, for us?” Raphael met his eyes, expression serious, but excited.

Simon nodded, “I know Raphael, and…and I want to be yours forever, if you’ll have me.” He paused. "I love you Raphael, too much probably."

And Raphael did not need to use his words, because sometimes words could not express enough. Instead, he bit into the tender flesh of Simon’s neck, relishing in the virgin taste and in Simon’s loud moans, moans that surely were heard by all vampires in the hotel.

 

Simon was Raphael’s now, but Raphael was Simon’s now, too. And years later, when they were both invited to the London clan, they turned the offer down – they were far too busy at their own wedding to worry about a clan war right now.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thoughts? And sorry that this was so late to be posted!! been super busy with uni assessments !
> 
> i hate this ending bye


End file.
